Last month a mother was surprised to be reunited with her daughter. Two decades before (when the child was eleven) the young woman was abducted. Throughout the world, there are many similar cases. For a parent, it is ghastly to imagine we live in a time where these things occur. It is in our best interest, however, to prepare for the ‘worst case’ scenarios and develop safe habits.
A SEDUCTIVE FALSEHOOD
A dangerous lie is a lie you want to be true. These are lies that you believe because the truth would be uncomfortable. “I don’t want to hurt you; just do as I say,” is an untruth that rings with the familiar tones of the original liar. The desire to believe you won’t get hurt is so great that many people will obey. The same thing happens when parents think that safety guidelines don’t apply to their own circumstance. It is a parent’s worst nightmare to think their child could be taken.
BUT I DON’T WANT TO LIVE IN FEAR
To help your family and children avoid danger, the first step is to accept this world can be a dangerous place, and predators hunt easy targets. Arm your children with the information they need to avoid being targeted and how to react if approached. By giving a child the tools he needs to deal confidently with an emergency and avoid peril, he is less likely to live in fear.
USE EVERYDAY EXPERIENCES
Take the time to speak with your child about the definition of a stranger. Make a game of it and review what you have learned while going about your normal routine with your child.
• Demonstrate to your child how he can choose a safe stranger to ask for help in an emergency.
• Play a game to see who can identify a stranger. Discuss the fact that strangers aren’t always scary-looking, creepy, or old. Sometimes bigger children will victimize smaller children.
• Show your child safe places he can go to for help. These may include libraries, police stations, restaurants, stores, a trusted person’s home, etc.
• Observe people and talk about the difference between someone that is well-mannered and someone that is overly familiar. Cultivate a sense in your child to discern when someone is being just too nice and perfect in an eerie way.
KNOWLEDGE YOUR CHILD SHOULD HAVE
• A stranger is someone they do not know.
• NEVER go with a stranger, no matter how nice, even if it’s just for a short walk.
• Never go into a house, building or car with a stranger, no matter if they promise a reward, toy, candy or anything else, not even if the stranger knows their name. Yell “NO!” and run away.
• If you are endangered, it’s okay to strike out and hurt an adult. Children need to know that they aren’t being bad or rude when they escape and find help.
• An adult that claims to be in trouble should never be helped by a child. Yell, “NO!” Get away and go for help. An adult in need should seek another adult. It is not okay for a grownup to approach a child for help.
These scenarios (and similar ones) should be avoided:
• A person holding a leash and asking for help finding a lost puppy.
• Grownups that ask directions.
• Adults asking a child for help with a broken down car.
• A person that tries to get a child to help find something in a house or car.
Things you can (and should) do to protect:
• A helpful tool to utilize is a secret password to alert your child that you have indeed sent a person. A child will know that even if the person knows his name, he shouldn’t go without hearing the secret word. For further safety, change the word regularly.
• Always tell the child if someone else will be picking them up or giving them a ride, and tell the child who that person will be.
• They should never accept gifts from a stranger unless parents are present and give permission. Anything offered when parents are not there should be refused. These items can be used as lures. Sometimes candy is drugged, or something is placed in or on the gift that will harm the child.
• Teach children to have confidence in their instincts. Running away should be the first response of a child that feels threatened. They should run for help if they feel scared. By RUNNING to the nearest safe place, a child can then locate an adult and ASK FOR HELP.
• Set aside niceties and do whatever is necessary to secure your safety. • The greatest need is to be safe, not polite. It is better to be safe than sorry.
• Three R’s – Recognize, Respond and Report any stranger that makes them feel unsafe – IMMEDIATLEY.
ROLE PLAY; MAKE IT A GAME
• Pretend to be a stranger asking for directions or help to find a lost pet.
• Show the children how to keep a safe distance – beyond arm’s reach.
• Show your child how to run away if the stranger gets too close or grabs another child. Tell your child the importance of running for help (and not staying to help) if another child is grabbed.
• Help your child practice how to yell and scream effectively to attract the most attention.
• Teach your child to flail and kick well enough to break an abductor’s grip.
• Teach them how to claw the stranger’s eyes, ears, nose or mouth.
MAKING YOUR CHILD LESS OF A TARGET
• Show your children how to look out for each other and stay in a group.
• Remind your child that he should never go with someone that invites them to leave the group.
• When playing, your child should be in a group or with a safe buddy.
• Require children to check with you first before leaving your home or some other location.
• Organize parents in your neighborhood to teach their children these tips.
By incorporating these guidelines as part of your normal routine, your child should not become afraid. Rather than something extra, a child can learn these things in much the same way as he learns to brush his teeth, wear a seatbelt and check for traffic at an intersection: as a means to insure his well-being.
For more helpful tips like this, visit [No Greater Joy|No Greater Joy|No Greater Joy] – a ministry dedicated to sharing the principles of wholesome [child training|child training tips] and joyful family relationships.
If you enjoyed this article, you might also like...
